Relationships during your postpartum phase can be so tricky. Sometimes we have friends and family members who haven’t experienced this phase in their life just yet, and maybe they never will. They’re not sensitive enough -not with their words, their time, or their actions. Sometimes we encounter those who have experienced postpartum but haven’t necessarily grasped the fact that “every woman’s journey is her own”. They’re too clingy, too helpful, too vocal. Maybe they're not vocal enough, maybe you need to lean on them a little more than they're allowing.
My Sex Drive
“When a woman is pregnant, her reproductive hormones are elevated and after giving birth they crash,” says Julia Arenson, a Brooklyn-based doula. Because of this, your estrogen levels drop and cause; vaginal dryness, low sex drive and more. Julia says, “this may be the body’s way of ensuring that you take time to heal.”
Relationships become tricky when you don’t speak up. It’s important to have these conversations months before giving birth so that everyone in your corner has your best interest. Speak up about your feelings with your partner. Some of us have a hard time truly expressing ourselves to others and that’s okay. Create easy and simple signs to communicate with your partner to inform them that you’re not okay. 6 months before my own due date, my husband and I shared with each other that there are times we struggle with letting one another know that we’re not okay. We knew this could affect us negatively during postpartum, so we decided to use our newborn’s stuffed animal as a sign to inform the other of our feelings. If I ever had feelings that were too hard for me to talk about, and I wasn’t okay, I would take her stuffed animal and put it on his nightstand. This way he understood and took action to help me feel secure and be sure I was okay mentally. He was to do the same if he ever felt like he needed support on his end.
Friends & Family
For a child, gaining a sibling may be a positive experience – for example, enhancing their independence – but it can also result in negative reactions, such as: poor or attention- seeking behavior. Start by talking to your older child about the arrival of his or her new sibling. Explain in age-appropriate terms how the baby is growing and ask him or her to help you set up the baby's nursery. Allow them to be a part of this experience every step of the way, so when it comes time he or she is more accepting of this new change in their life. This isn’t only a big change for you but for them too.
If you or someone you know feel as though you may need to seek help throughout your #postpartum journey, please don’t hesitate to contact the options below:
Kahdejah E. Stevans: Mental Health Coach
Servicing the State of Texas
Daphane JOY Harris: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist